Fast forward one year from my last post, and I'm singing a completely different tune. 2009 was not a good year for me, nor was it for many of us, to be honest. I have definitely crumbled a little (okay, a lot) and I head into 2010 hanging on to my sanity by a thread. My relationship is over; Meg is still every bit as wonderful as I've described her here in the past, but she's never been the problem...it's always been me. The house we couldn't afford has led to me working myself beyond the capacity any normal human being can rightfully expect himself to maintain. I have spent almost no time with my friends and family, including my brother Aaron, who desparately needs me in his life, and my niece Willow, who I believe I have seen 4 times in the 9 months she's been making her adorable presence felt on this planet. She lives less than 10 blocks away. I'm broke, I'm no closer to going back to school-not that I even know what I'd go back for now anyway, I'm @ my absolute unhealthiest physical state ever, I am miserable, and I barely care about anything anymore. I couldn't even really enjoy my best friend's perfect wedding in November, because I was so worried about bills and wrapped up in my own personal hell.
That's the beauty of a year though; it has a finite beginning & end, and no matter how much chaos takes place in the 363 days in between, there's always that opportunity to turn the page on January 1st. I still love my work (I'm not @ Kidspeace anymore; I work @ Indian Creek full-time) and by all accounts I'm still great at it. In a few weeks I am moving out of the house that has become such a burden to me and in with a friend who is having some of the same problems-and some that are actually even bigger-that I'm going through. We've become very close and we're looking forward to helping each other through this storm, no matter how much worse it gets. Meg is moving in with her parents and is handling the whole situation better than I could have imagined. She is going to be fine. I hope I will be too.
I have big plans for this year. And while the past year or so has pretty much sucked, it happened, and its over. To quote Cormac McCarthy...Every step you take is forever. You can't make it go away. None of it.